he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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