I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
