well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Randomize
