NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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