You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
