how can u be prego again
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Your penis caused this!
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
