I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
