Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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