who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
