Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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