i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
