i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
found the other keg... it's in the tree
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Randomize
