Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Randomize
