I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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