I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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