It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
