And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Randomize
