do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
