There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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