its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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