do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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