He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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