He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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