cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
