Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Well I just put wine in my tea
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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