The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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