Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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