i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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