just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Randomize
