I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
