Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
please come you make the beer taste better
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Randomize
