i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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