two words: eviction party
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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