For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
My breath smells like gin and sadness
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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