So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
