just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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