Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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