Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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