AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
