You just made me feel so damn special
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Randomize
