I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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