508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
The air was thick with penises
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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