So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
