How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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