yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
id be glad to
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
