Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
