Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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