i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
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I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
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just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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