My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Farmville is her only friend.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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