I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Randomize
