i need an iv and a liver transplant
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Randomize
