i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
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