I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
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