Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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