Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize