She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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