If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Randomize
