I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize