Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
