Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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