Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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