that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
