I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
