Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
