and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
