yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Randomize
