what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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