i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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