The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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